Mavourneen Goes Home

My beautiful girl

This is Mavourneen's story, or at least what I hope was basically true for her.  For the record, yes, I do believe that animals go to Heaven.  In this story, I referred to her seeing my dog Dozer in Heaven.  The truth is, I really don't know what happened to Dozer.  He just got loose and never came back.  My loving husband told me all along that he is certain that someone picked Dozer up, but I have always secretly thought that something happened to him that night.  I wanted this story to include a tribute to him as well...

Mavourneen had a happy life for the most part.  She was Alpha Dog #2 in a large dog family, so that meant that she got to call her own spot under the table with her own food bowl that the smaller dogs weren’t allowed to eat out of.  Sometimes the other dogs could be a little annoying, especially Bianca, but usually a growl from Mavourneen kept her under control. 

Mavvie knew she was loved.  She had been with her human mama ever since she was born, nine and a half years ago.  Mama didn’t think of her as “just a dog” – to Mama, she was family, even though Mama had human kids, too.  Mavourneen knew that her name meant “My Darlin’” in Gaelic, and that she really was Mama’s darling.  Mama also called her Beautiful Girl a lot, so Mavvie learned to answer to any of those names.  Mavvie also had a Daddy who called her his girl, and Daddy was the one who usually came in the kitchen and gave everyone treats… unless Bianca spoiled everything by going potty on the floor. 

Mavourneen had always had some health problems.  Ever since she was little, her back legs were bowed.  She also had severe flea allergies.  Mama put a flea collar on her, but it didn’t keep the fleas away.  Mavvie scratched so much that she lost all her fur from the waist down to the tip of her tail.  After that, Mama always used Frontline on her, and that worked so much better.  Even then, she still got some itchy spots on her back, and loved, loved, loved being brushed.  Sometimes, she even pushed her way in when it was another dog’s turn, so she could be brushed some more.  As she got older, Mavourneen began to develop growths – one on her back that felt like a big fat tick; a fatty-looking tumour on her side and what looked like extra foot pads on the joint of one of her legs.  She knew that Mama was worried about her.  She heard Mama say that she was trying to save money to take her to the vet.  Mavvie wished she could tell Mama that what she really needed to go to the vet for was her back.  It was really starting to hurt.  Matter of fact, once when Mama was brushing her itchy spots, the brush bumped against Mavourneen’s spine, and it hurt so bad that she yelped and lay down under the table.  Mama didn’t understand what had happened, and thought she must have brushed over a sore that Mavvie had scratched.

The pain got worse and worse, but Mavvie didn’t know how to tell Mama.  She pretty much just lay around all day, except for going outside to potty.  One day, Mavvie was laying close to Mama’s chair, and Bianca jumped on her back.  It hurt so bad that Mavvie howled, and her whole body shook.  Mama got on her knees beside her and was trying to figure out what was wrong.  Her petting made Mavvie feel better, and she stopped shaking.  She heard Mama say something about maybe it being “arthritis”.  Later on, Daddy came in the kitchen, and he and Mama were looking at her.  Daddy told Mavvie to stand up so they could check her out.  When she tried, her back legs didn’t seem to work.  Mama started crying and called the vet.  After that, Daddy carried Mavvie out to Mama’s car.  Mavourneen would have been excited that she got to go for a ride, but she was hurting too bad, plus she was kind of scared about what was happening to her.

The vet was nice, and he gave Mavvie a shot that helped take the pain away.  She tried to listen to what he and Mama were talking about, because it seemed serious, but she didn’t really understand.  Then he put Mavvie in a cage and Mama sat on the floor and talked to her.  Mama told Mavvie that she was going to stay there all night and that Mama would see her in the morning.  Mavvie didn’t like being left there without Mama, but she knew it must be for her own good.  In the morning, Mama came back, just like she said she would.  The vet showed Mama how to use a towel to hold Mavvie’s back legs up off the ground so that she could walk around outside.  He also told her to help Mavvie to stand up on her back legs several times a day, to help make her muscles strong.  He gave her two bottles of pills to give Mavvie, and said that she should be kept in a confined area so she couldn’t drag herself around too much, or go out the dog door.

When they got home, Mama put Mavvie in the hallway outside the bathroom.  At first it was kind of fun for Mavvie to get to be in a part of the house where the other dogs couldn’t come.  She felt special, and the bathroom had always been one of her favourite places to lay.  She just didn’t feel well, though.  Mama kept trying to get her to drink her water, but Mavourneen didn’t want any.  Mama gave her a can of chicken broth and that was good.  Mavvie drank all of that, and then she drank a bowl of water that still tasted like the broth.  Mama also got her special food in a pouch to mix with her pills.  Later that night, though, Mavvie felt lonely.  She missed being with the other dogs, so Mama took her in the kitchen for a while, but when Mama went to bed, Mavvie had to go back in the hallway and bathroom. 

When Mavvie and Mama were alone in the bathroom, Mama talked to her about what the vet said.  Since Mama didn’t have lots of money, they couldn’t do tests that would show for sure what was wrong with her.  Mama told Mavourneen that she was so sorry.  She said they were going to try giving her pills to see if she got better, but that she might never be able to walk on her back legs again.  She also might have more growths inside of her that would cause her problems.  Mama cried and told Mavvie that if she felt like giving up, it was okay, but that if she felt like she could keep going, Mama would help her all she could.  She told Mavvie to let her know what she wanted to do.

The next day, Mavvie felt worse.  She didn’t even want to be with the other dogs.  She went out potty with Mama, and even let Mama help her stand on her back legs to exercise them, like the vet had showed her.  But when she came in, she just lay down.  Mama let the other dogs come in to where Mavvie was, but Mavvie didn’t even care.  Mama lay down beside her and held her and whispered, “It looks like you’re giving up, Darlin’…”  She told Mavvie that she could help her to end it and go to her real home if that was what she wanted, but they had to decide when.  Mama said that Mavvie could go home in the morning, or if she thought she could hang on, they could have the weekend together. 

Mavourneen didn’t really understand what Mama meant about “going home”, although she knew it meant she wouldn’t hurt any more.  It sounded like what she wanted to do, but she could tell it made Mama sad.  She was thinking that maybe she should try to have a nice weekend with Mama and the other dogs and then try to tell Mama that she was ready to go.  After making that choice, Mavourneen lifted her head and smiled a big doggy smile at Mama.  She wished she could wag her tail, but when she tried, nothing happened.

Mavvie hurt all weekend, but the pills Mama gave her helped.  She didn’t feel like eating or drinking – not even chicken broth or dog food out of a can.  Mama and Daddy both tried giving her things they thought she would like.  They let her have milk, even though that wasn’t really good for dogs.  Daddy gave her SIX Milkbone dog biscuits!  Then Mama bought some people food meat and cooked it just for her.  She said they had to give the other dogs little bites too, so it would be fair, and once, Neo took a big piece right out of Mavvie’s mouth.  But Mavvie ate a lot.  It was good.  She began to have other problems, though.  Sometimes she couldn’t wait to go outside to potty.  And sometimes when she was outside, she couldn’t go.  She had always tried to be such a good girl and never, never go in the house, but these days, sometimes she couldn’t even tell when she was going. 

Sunday evening, she was laying in the kitchen with Mama and the other dogs.  Mama had helped her into a comfortable position, and she had her head up, looking around, feeling as happy as possible under the circumstances.  All of a sudden, she heard Mama exclaim that she had moved her back legs!  Mama seemed so happy that Mavvie tried once again to wag her tail, and this time, her tail actually moved half of a wag.  Mama sat on the floor with her and told her they might have to rethink their plans, because maybe she was getting better.

But when Mavvie woke up on Monday morning, she still hurt.  She felt so tired.  Mama came in to take her outside, and Mavvie could see that Mama was excited and hopeful.  But Mavourneen’s legs were not working, and when Mama tried to stand her back legs up, Mavvie’s back paws kept knuckling under.  She knew that her eyes were dull, and she just wanted to go “home”, wherever that was.

The day before, Mama had given her a nice bath, and while she was in the tub, Mama gently explained to Mavvie what would happen.  She said they would go back to the nice vet, but that would not be where Mavvie would stay.  She told Mavvie that the vet would give her a shot, and she would go to sleep and when she woke up, she would be in Heaven.  Mama told Mavvie that she would go with her as far as she could, and that she would see her again one day.  Mavvie was ready.

She heard Mama call the vet, and make arrangements for them to come in that afternoon.  Mavvie got to eat the last of her people food meat, a baked potato and some baby carrots.  Then she got a big bowl of milk.  After she ate, Mama laid on the floor with her and held her.  Mama kept telling her how much she loved her and how sorry she was and how much she would miss her.  Mama also told her that she was going to be the most beautiful dog in Heaven.  Then Mama made a picture in her mind of what Jesus would be like, and Mavvie felt Jesus holding both of them.  They stayed in His arms for a long time.  It was nice.

When it was time to leave for the vet, Mavvie got to ride in the front seat.  Mama left a little early, and they just went for a ride.  Mavvie thought it was the perfect way to end her stay on earth.  They got to the vet, and a nice lady wanted to weigh Mavvie.  She said that Mavvie had lost two pounds, and agreed that Mama was doing the right thing to help her go home.

They went into another room, and Mama sat on the floor with Mavvie, who was laying on the big red towel that Mama had walked her in with.  People were talking to Mama, and giving her Kleenex, because she was crying.  The vet came in with a big needle.  He said something to Mama, and then Mama got up.  Mavvie thought Mama was leaving, so she quickly got up on her front legs and was ready to drag herself after Mama.  But the vet was just asking Mama to switch sides with him.  Mavvie loved the way it felt in Mama’s arms, with her head against her.  Suddenly, she felt a horrible pain in her right front leg from something the vet had done.  She looked at Mama in alarm, because she didn’t know why Mama had let him hurt her like that.  Mama cried harder, and petted her and told her it would all be okay.  The vet was also talking to her, and telling her he was sorry he hurt her, and calling her “Sweet Pea”.  Then Mavvie remembered that Mama had said she would get a shot to help her go home.  She relaxed against Mama again, and didn’t cry when the vet put the needle in her leg again.  Just before she went to sleep, she heard Mama say, “I love you – I’ll see you when I get to Heaven!”

Suddenly, Mavvie realized that she didn’t hurt any more.  She had a panicky moment when she realized that she wasn’t with Mama any more either, but she remembered that Mama had told her that she would see her again one day.  She looked around her at the beautiful place, and she saw Dozer.  He was grinning at her and told her she would love it there.  She saw other dogs that used to be Mama’s, and other types of animals as well.  She remembered Dr. Hex, the cat that she once had said goodbye to.  She also began to notice people she knew.  There was Michael – it had been a long time since he had petted her, but she remembered his gentle spirit.  He came up to pet her again, and she couldn’t help but notice the joy in his eyes.  She saw Grandma Barbara, with her cats, and the cats were actually friendly to Mavvie.  Matt was also there to pet her, with a grin on his face and his special, funny way of talking.  She even recognized other people who knew Mama, even though she had never met them, like the man named Guy who was the Daddy to some of Mama’s other dogs.  It was so much fun, romping around and seeing everyone!

Then suddenly, Mavvie saw Him.  She tried to bow, but found that she was frolicking and nuzzling Him at the same time.  He petted her, and His touch made her feel even better than when Mama petted her.  “Sweet Mavourneen”, He said to her.  “This is what I created you for.  You are home now, and this is where you will be forever, with no more sickness or pain.”

It was the best feeling Mavvie had ever known.  But she told God that she was worried about her mama.  “Your mama will be all right, little one,” He said.  “She will grieve for you, because she loves you so much.  But I will comfort her, and sometimes I will send little whispers of your essence to her, and she will know that you are happy.  When she comes here to stay, you will know, and you will greet her.”

At those words, all of Mavvie’s fears went away.  She knew that everything would be wonderful, and one day their whole family would be together again.  But in the meantime, there was so much to explore!